Bye Bye Bruv

Brian wins Ultimate Big Brother

Thankfully it wasn't Nikki and it wasn't even close! As predicted all along Brian Dowling repeated his victory of nine years ago in the very final hour of "Big Brother" last night. It was the cherry on the top of almost a whole night of BB programming on Channel 4.

There are strong rumours that Richard Desmond will bring it to his newly acquired Channel Five, but it may be a very different beast.

Concocted especially for the occasion is this special housemate-strewn version of "Time to Say Goodbye", though it's often hard to make out who you're seeing, thanks to the often bizarre make-up. Took me a while to realise it was BB11 winner Josie doing the miming to the female vocal.

Big Brother's Obituary Tape (a slightly more tedious concoction)

My BB11 Winner

Yes, I know it's not a universally popular choice, but I'd like it to be Mario (pictured above getting jiggy with Bob Righter).

I know that nice geek Andrew and sexy but uninteresting JJ can't win it, Mad Monk Dave shouldn't even be in the final and that TPTB apparently want Josie to join the Ultimate BB ten, but that's my final evaluation. Had they not been evicted, I might have gone for Ben or Sam though.

Big Brother "All-Stars" Line-up (partly) revealed

Channel 4 appear to have revealed the "All Stars" line up that will take over the house for the last two weeks or so of the final run.

As pictured in suitably funereal style they are Michelle, Brian Belo, Siavash, Craig, Alex, Dane, Aisleyne, Brian Dowling, Nikki, Nadia, Pete, Charlie, 'Nasty' Nick, Chantelle and John. C4 tease they may not be the only returnees to captivity, but we'll see.

I'm moderately happy about the line-up as it was looking increasingly likely that they wouldn't get many characters and few of the actual winners. Actually they have six winners and the only summer series not represented are BB4 (which was somewhat expected), BB6 (shame about Makosi) and BB9 (shame about Rex). A little concerned that they seem a bit overbalanced with prima-donnas and that some series are over-represented which might make for immediate cliques.

Ideally, I'd replace Dane with Federico or Jon from BB4, Charlie with Makosi and busted flush 'Nasty' Nick with Rex.

Of course they will also be joined by the winner of BB11, who is blissfully unaware of this fate. Until tonight that is. After a further fib about them voting for the 2010 winner, in tonight's live show Big Brother will finally reveal to the current housemates that they are not in there until September as they thought and that only one will remain in after their final on 24 August (though I'd wager Sam Pepper and the other latecomers may be in on this already), so they have a lot less time left than they imagined.

Hope they get a chance to clean the house!

Retro Blast - July 2006

Yes, THAT summer! Who IS she?!

Jumping 40 years between weekends means that whereas l couldn't even summon memories from 1966, I can actually lay hands on the correct "Radio Times" for 2006, and there it is above. Well, it covers the majority of the equivalent week. It just misses one of the landmark TV events of that year which was on the following Sunday evening on BBC Two - the last ever regular "Top of the Pops", presented by this rogues gallery:

Annoyingly, Fearne Cotton simultaneously managed to co-present "Love Island" from Fiji with Patrick Kielty. The last TOTP was watched by 3.98 million people, pitted against a shark documentary on BBC One, an "Emmerdale"/"Coronation Street" combo on ITV1 and the repeat of episode 39 of "Lost" on Channel 4

(Just to be confusing, I'm using the singles chart just previous because the one they used had literally just been announced on the 30th and so Shakira isn't the No1).

Another lesser British institution of sorts began the previous day, 29 July, on BBC One tea-time, slotted between Anne Robinson and Dale Winton - "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?":

This was the first in a winning format wherein host Graham Norton and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber searched for an unknown to be Maria in "The Sound Of Music" (won on 16 September by Connie Fisher). Norton had already hosted the second and final series of "Strictly Dance Fever" that had finished only 8 weeks before. Graham and Andrew went on to foist a Joseph, a Nancy, a Dorothy and a UK Eurovision entrant on us in similar fashion of course.

The celebrity week of "Come Dine With Me" which kicked off series 3 on 24 July 2006

There was a fair amount of new programming on at the time including Saxondale, Prehistoric Park, Casualty, Silent Witness, Tribe, Sorted, The Chase, Come Dine With Me, Richard & Judy, Restoration Village, Big Bear Week, Excuse My French, Modern Toss, The Friday Night Project, Bad Lads Army: Extreme, The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, How to Look Good Naked, The F Word, Bad Girls, Holby City, Mythbusters, The Kumars at No42, Sugar Rush and The Law of the Playground. On the digital channels The L Word was premiering on Living while The West Wing breathed its last on More 4.

Big Brother 7, the summer 2006 series, was recently voted the best ever (not by me, but it's probably the last 'big' one and the one where the rot started). It had started on 18 May and was eventually won by Pete Bennett on 18 August

On this particular week, after a House-Next-Door 'prison' task and where everyone was paired off in handcuffs, Michael & Spiral were evicted together on 29 July.

This came just before the producers made the possibly fatal mistake of putting a housemate back in for the final week and making them eligible to win. That housemate was Nikki Graham, Pete's showmance partner.

In ye olde soaps Emmerdale was still in the aftermath of a showhome exploding and killing three people while also just about to kill off Alice Dingle in an award winning euthenasia storyline, Coronation Street was focussed on Leanne blackmailing Danny Baldwin over Mike's true will (leading to a temporary exit for Leanne) and Owen Turner menacingly reappeared in the life of Denise Fox in Eastenders. She can really pick husbands!

So if I haven't already magicked up the memories of that summer, my chart picks surely will, and here they are:

That's Madonna's new entry at #45 - Get Together.



And a Radio 2 playlist favourite of the time, it's Ray Lamontagne's "Trouble", also new at #38



The rarely heard Snow Patrol hit "Chasing Cars" is in at #25



Gnarls Barkley have their second hit rising to #10. Great video too.



Only last month this was heard as newlyweds Amy and Rory danced at the close of the last "Doctor Who" series. "You Give Me Something" is at #5 for James Morrison.



And topping the UK singles chart, here's a 'last days' TOTP performance of "Don't Stop Me Now" by McFly (would have been much more appropriate No1 on the final show)

Things are a bit more cool in the top three albums - all three new entries by Paulo Nutini, Lily Allen and Razorlight at #3, #2 and #1 respectively.

Just released in the cinema were "Miami Vice", "You, Me and Dupree" and "Little Miss Sunshine", but he summer blockbuster was the second "Pirates of the Caribbean" film, "Dead Man's Chest" featuring Bill Nighy as Davy Jones (above).

http://www.chartstats.com/chart.php?date=24%2F07%2F2006

Next weekend - July 1986

Big Brother 11 - First Impressions

OK, so a quick word (if I can summon any up) about the 14 housemates who entered the house last night, in order of appearance.

Josie - seems fine to me, as long as she doesn't overplay the 'dizzy blonde bumpkin' angle which is such a BB cliche (though it worked for last year's winner). So far she hasn't. I'd imagine she's quite high in betting odds, having had a rare good reception from the Elstree crowd.

Steve - another good reception, but possibly on shallow reasons owing to him having both legs blown off by an IRA bomb while he was a soldier. Not seen much of the character yet, but likely to be a good guy with a good attitude.

Ben - probably going against the majority view here but Ben looks to me to be one to watch. He's outwardly an unsympathetic lanky posh bloke with a bouffant, but I think there's something else going on there. We'll see.

Rachael - struggling to say very much about the Beyonce lookalike. Not a good sign.

Nathan - this year's 'bloke's bloke', complete with six and a half inches of monobrow. Might be a one trick pony - need to see more from him before I can judge.

Dave - there were two housemates last night I wanted rid of as soon as they appeared - Dave, the mad monk, is the first. Fake and naff in equal quantities, he's like an 80s Radio One Roadshow DJ who's got religion. The forced jollity will surely not last.

Caiomhe - apparently pronounced 'Keeva'. Looks interesting and open. Another who might go far if she's careful not to make rivals.

Govan - bi black boy who really could go either way with me. Another it's too early to tell on.

"Shabby" - by name and by nature, this was the second one I took an instant dislike to. Looks like a cross between Noel Fielding and Jimmy Krankie and is desperately channeling BB7 Pete to look zany and original. Horrid child.

Ife - seems pleasant enough, but probably doing this to further her music career, so the heart may not be in it.

John James - Australian who apparently came over specially to audition for BB11 (has theirs finished?). Seems purely eye-candy at the moment - looked a bit moody and uncomfortable once in the house.

"Sunshine" - another one who I could take to or take against - there's elements of both in there. Seems intellegent though.

Corin - 'accidentally' looks like Jordan. Also looks like she's been accidentally microwaved. Would be so easy to hate her shallowness already, but I think I can wait.

The fourteenth housemate was chosen at random from the remaining wannabees from a tombola:

Mario - considering who we could have got saddled with from the remaining crowd, Mario was a bit of a relief. Seems pretty normal by BB standards, but we've got to know him least. Mario has been set "Big Brother's Impossible Task" in that he will be BB's first proper 'mole', oft suspected in previous years (why I don't know - we'd have to be in on it) but only now coming to pass. In a brilliant twist though he was made to dress up in a mole suit with a sign hanging round his neck saying 'I am a mole' before meeting the other HMs. They must not suspect he is a mole of course or he'll be evicted. Further to this, as befits a mole, he will be tutored by the Tree of Temptation (now transformed into a wooden cabinet in the bathroom) into acts of sabotage, as yet not known.

I'm a bit lukewarm on this year's casting so far, but will report back if that changes.

Big Brother 11 - Before the Off

Unusually, it looks from here that 'Big Brother' is going to be good cop this year. Probably very far from the truth, but this summer's floral eye design and the undeniably plush interiors already revealed give that impression. Of course the eye is akin to a wreath for the final series and the interior is more see-through and less private than ever before.

Unusually too, we've been given a freakish longlist of around 80 wannabees from whom the the housemates will be picked tonight (well I presume tonight)and some sort of 'champion of champions' special series will follow immediately on for 2 weeks after BB11 ends. I'm wondering if the potential HMs know that they will remain incarcerated a while longer (with the likes of Nadia and Brian Dowling) even if they win?

Big Brother - Ole Bamboo

I know I haven't even mentioned BB10 in the main posts this year, but I have been watching. Regular readers may know I am a sucker for these group 'musical' tasks and here's the latest (which got them a pass today). The original is in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" with Dick Van Dyke.

Oh, and Cairon to go, obviously.

Celebrity Big Brother Totty - Jack Whitehall

Given the line-up I have to say that the only male totty involved with this CBB is Jack Whitehall ...

EDIT 3 Jan

Just found these two pics of Jack larking about in his pants:

Big Brother 9 - The Treadmill dance task

I know I've neglected posting about BB9 on the main part of the blog, which is perverse, as I think it's had (Alex apart) one of the best few opening weeks in years.

Anyway, I just had to acknowledge this task, which was (unusually) broadcast live on E4's BBLB last night. Four of the housemates (Dale, Sylvia, Stuart and Rex) had to recreate a music video. Here's the original for comparison.

Considering the choreographer had been slung in prison and that Rex was a replacement for injured Rachel, I was very impressed. And loved the hip gear!

They passed.

Apologies for my lack of presence ...

I've been a bit of an absentee landlord here for the best part of December and January and I felt I have to put the record straight about why and also to hope for a change soon.

Obviously there was the usual festive hols, which this year saw me parted from the internet for all but one afternoon of 16 consecutive days. Even when I did post I made a boo-boo by carelessly embedding an explicit image (which is against my self-made rules).

And during late December I was also hit with a couple of unwanted slapstick moments, which loosened a front tooth and disposed of my 10 year old specs respectively. These were seperate incedents either side of Christmas Day and no fisticuffs were involved, though I was sober on neither occasion. I've yet to face the dentistry, but I had to get new specs (@£63.75 from Specsavers) immediately - as you can possibly tell from my updated profile pic. The frames are named 'Shaggy' ...

But both December and January have also been unusually hectic at when I've been at work, which is where I get most opportunity to post, and the job must come first of course. I returned on the 7th to a backlog on every front, especially Google Reader which is what generates my choices for the right hand panel bookmarks.

And now a new chapter of domesticity is upon me as I'm now in a position to seek out the long awaited new flat nearer into Dunfermline centre, so this is also diverting my attention outside of work. As of today though - subject to our own survey - it may be that I'll be in a new abode by around Easter, after 2 months of already known building work completes. Can't guarantee that those weeks won't be taken up 'window shopping' in the Argos catalogue and various DIY stores and garden centres though!

I'm completely aware that many of you may be awaiting my considered opinion on "Voyage of the Damned", "Big Brother Celebrity Hijack", the new series of "Torchwood"or even the weather. You may yet get that but you may not. Sorry. This is the most considered post I've attempted under the recent circumstances.

It's not just TWFH I've been neglecting - I fell off Flickr and last.fm for ages and am only this week remedying that.

Hope is on the horizon though. In the weeks that I am awaiting moving in to the new flat (cross fingers re the survey) my landlord brother-in-law has decided not to charge me rent at my current dwelling so as to amass some cash readies. There was some confusion initially that this was to be earmarked for my dentistry, even though I haven't yet got a dentist, but with welcome irony it is intended to go towards a laptop replacement for my dear departed iMac. Ironic because on top of it breaking down (though not beyond repair) in April it was my brother-in-law who unilaterally decided to fling it in the rubbish in October! To say I was miffed is an huge understatement. So hopefully by this April I will be cradling a mid-range Macbook on my lap and be in a new flat. That will give me much more access to all things internet once again.

2007 was a year of diminishment in terms of my computer, my camera, my private living-space and finally my eyewear that I'm hoping 2008 to be a year of progress.

And those naughty souls out there amongst you will be pleased that I'm about to give you a double dose of "Gangsters in Large" now (one was meant to go up at the weekend but I forgot).

The Really New Avengers ...

This "Friday Night Project" sketch starring Joanna Lumley will date very quickly given the punchline but when I caught up with it yesterday I just had to share ...

Big Mother

The launch eleven




Yes, it's the all-female "Big Brother" we were warned about yesterday. We expect the first cock-drop (apparently neither "a geek or a gay") on Friday night, but I'd predict a low ratings figure for tonight's 'highlights' show.

It's a definite risk for the show - on balance I accept it, but it made for an anti-climax on launch night with no raging testesterone or male totty. I liked the principle (but not so far the practice) of the identical twins. On reflection I'd have to say the two oldest were the two that stood out for me last night. These are the oldest ever BB housemate at 60, Lesley (above) and Carole, 53 (below). I hope both stay a while over the usual 'Daily Star' fodder 'babes'.

More here and here

Big Brother 8 house revealed!

Digital Spy (and no doubt other places) have been given photos of the house that the 2007 housemates will be locked into from next Wednesday night (30 May).

First impressions are that it's very 'square' - quite a departure from most years. Though the inside-outside theme from BB7/CBB5 is gone there's still the bath in the lounge, a fridge in the garden and (allegedly) a cooker in the as-yet-unseen bedroom to deal with. And there are so obviously other hidden parts to this one - my best guess is one behind the 'wet' panel, which could possibly allow HMs to apparently 'disappear'.

And the possible clues in the rainbow/monochrome eye (complete with white keyhole) have not escaped me.

More pictures here .

Celebrity Big Brother - the Showgirl task

So many of this year's CBB moments have been shouty and nasty, so I thought I'd balance up with this camp moment of togetherness from Monday night in the house. The performance begins at 1 min 08 into the clip. Music by the Scissor Sisters.

I think it's fairly obvious which two housemates dropped them points (too much freestyle guys!), though they passed the task and all 8 (Cleo Rocas, Danielle Lloyd, Dirk Benedict, Ian Watkins, Jack Tweedy, Jermaine Jackson, Jo O'Meara and Shilpa Shetty) look to be enjoying themselves for once.

Enjoy. 2 are getting evicted on Friday (but not Danielle, Jack or Jermaine) while the finale is on Sunday night.

Celebrity Big Brother 2007 - First Impressions

A bit of a disappointing line-up in that there were 2 people I've never remotely heard of (the WAG and the 'outrageous' band vocalist) and no real male totty to speak of. There's a couple of ex-male totty but that's it!

One of the more gobsmacking appearances was film director Ken Russell, so frail that Davina had to escort him down the house steps. I hope he doesn't peg out in there.

Why did the Jermaine Jackson rumour have to be right - he looks SO boring.

H from Steps and Jo from S Club will be in huddles throughout I reckon. Probably a mistake to put both in, though H's 'coming out' yesterday will add a bit of novelty value.

Although I'd never heard of the Bollywood actress I wouldn't expect to. She looks beautiful and seems a nice person with it.

We'd heard David Hassellhoff and Adam Ant. We got Dirk Benedict and Leo Sayer. Not much impression gained as yet, but Sayer is the first bookies' favourite.

Making up the 11 are tabloid columnist Carole Malone and Kenny Everett sidekick Cleo Rocas. I'm sure Cleo will be great fun in there. I think Carole is the first journo to actually go in.

Davina (who looked very different last night) explained there is a twist on Friday involving the pontifications of a "Big Brother family' - presumably located in 'the hose next door'. I did slightly wonder if they're a celebrity family.

4 Jan update: Leo Sayer is deservedly the favourite - he's just amazingly entertaining, intellegent and personable.

Meanwhile I've warmed to Donnie a bit - may just rate as totty after all, despite the Rhys Ifans hairdo.

Big Brother 7 - the final week, the fatal twist

I know I was going to revisit the 'new' housemates before now, but frankly that's where the rot started from for me. For instance, I went " Well he-llo" when Michael first appeared in the House Next Door, yet he turned out a self-obsessed weirdo in no time. And Endemol hadn't checked the basics of this 'secret' twist ie soundproofing. The first 'evictee' from the HND - Jayne - broke every rule going and was 'punished' by having all the other housemates EXCEPT her put up for eviction. Notably this was the week that histrionic Nikki got the boot. It seems that wasn't in the inept production team plot.

Suddenly in the last couple of weeks the show has imploded. It is SO OBVIOUSLY being planned on the hoof and the viewers are SO OBVIOUSLY being desperately manipulated and duped in a way we only expect the housemates to be. The twist of 4 evictees going back in the HND was fine on the surface as it happened with Jon in BB4 and Kinga last year. However, they were single re-entries unable to let on to anyone about the outside world or how still imprisoned HMs were coming over. Not only could the 4 bitch and point at the 'proper' HMs, BB compounded this contamination of the concept by having the 2 eviction nominees last week join them in the HND. Just not on.

But the evil cherry on the top was the fact that the 'proper' HMs left after Friday's eviction (Pete, Aisleyne, Richard, Glyn, Jennie) would pick one of the 4 evictees to join them for the final week, and that the person picked would be eligible to WIN. That is so not on it's off the scale.

The whole concept is that BB is directed by viewers, while we knowingly accept HMs are manipulated by the show. This steps over the line as it treats viewers (let alone paying voters) as if they were HMs too. We pay for the show - we don't get duped and made to follow a prepared script.

"Big Brother" has jumped the shark with this year's production team. I will check in next year, but if the pattern re-emerges they've lost me and I doubt I'm the only one.

BTW I am currently wanting Aisleyne to win.

Big Brother 7 - first impressions

Nearly 12 hours of the 13 weeks gone already! It certainly looks like we're in for 'interesting times' this year, with the freak factor apparently turned up a notch - even the 'normal' housemates (with a couple of exceptions) seem to have sociopathic tendencies!

I'm certainly fed up with Shahbaz already - that view formed from the launch show alone, but staying up until 1am for the E4 feed just underlined it. My initial views of Pete and Lea mellowed on further viewing though. Either Pete calmed down or I just got used to the verbal and physical ticks - probably a bit of both - and began to find him attractive and engaging. Lea initially looked completely vain and plastic but has since shown a more warm, maternal aspect. Dawn just completely forgot her advertised persona and was bubbly and sociable whenever caught on camera - seems very pally with 'sexual terrorist' Richard so far. I think he might go far - even the lads seem cool when close to him and I was surprised that today's "Sun" seem to be backing him and beauty queen Imogen (if photo prominence is anything to go by) as the alpha male and female. Imogen appears to be fairly faultless so far, but may suffer later from the other girls as seems to be a definite BB habit. Sezar, Mikey and George are the most obvious male totty contenders but all conceal somewhat unattractive attitudes to some degree, likewise Grace, Nikki and Bonnie (or Bonno by her lips). Lastly we come to Lisa and Glyn. I'm afraid Lisa could also quickly get on my nerves - despite a friendly, earthy personality she is prone to catchphrases like 'mint' which grate very quickly. Lifeguard Glyn seems a bit lost and looks likely to be eaten up by one of the bigger fish - he already seemed 'marked' by wearing Shahbaz' jacket and disappearing off with him.

I'd have liked Shahbaz to be the first evicted on the 26th, but Big Brother's first twist (which I just missed) means he and Lisa appear to be immune. I predict it will be Bonnie who was obnoxious outside and quiet inside the house - a really suicidal combination for public votes. Of course it all depends on membership of this 'brotherhood'.

The house itself is a quite different layout this year - I'm glad the sitting room has been brought back in to the main house. It was too often used as the sulking/argueing venue last year. Doesn't actually LOOK smaller though, but perhaps that's all the glass and mirrors. The cameras in the bathroom will be fun as will the al fresco dining table.