Obviously this contains many spoilers if you've yet to watch the episode - you have been warned!
I was prepared to be underwhelmed by this one given some of the press reactions at last month's screening, and there has been some truth in the adage that Russell T Davies' own scripts for the series are among the weakest, certainly in plotting (though that is as much to do with the strength of the rest). 
However, apart from the fairly unnecessary farewell scene in the pre-credits sequence I was thoroughly entertained and thrilled by the 'white-knuckle ride' the continuity announcer promised.I think we all knew about the return of the 'bitchy trampoline', Lady Cassandra and I for one was not hugely surprised to see Zoe Wannamaker eventually swan around in person this time. The twist here was that she was not the villain of the piece, more of a distraction for the Doctor as she possessed Rose's body for a large part of proceedings. When Rose first encounters 'the last human' this time she's in the basement, playing back past glories on an old-fashioned film projector a la Norma Desmond. Cassandra got all the best lines but they were spread between several actors as the body swapping went manic later on.
David Tennant particularly relished his 'Cassandra moments' ("Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!", "So many parts ... and hardly used!") Importantly, the briefest swap - into the body of a zombie 'lab rat', finally affected Cassandra's unhealthy obsession with staying alive at whatever cost, mirroring a theme of the episode.The latter scenes where Cassandra has been persuaded to make a very final body-swap into her dying acolyte, Chip (Sean Gallagher) and the Doctor transports her back to a nightclub for 'her finest hour' (as Debbie Harry might vocalise) were moving. The much younger and much more human (in every sense) Cassandra is paid the very compliment she later recalls so warmly by her future self in 'Chip' form . 'Chip' then abruptly collapses and dies, cradled in the arms of 'Cassandra the younger' who is now pleading for medical help for the stranger. The more you think about it the more poetic her fate becomes.
But that was the B plot - the chief peril was that created in the luxury hospital by the feline Sisters of Plenitude. Their claim was that they could cure everything - even the Doctor is initially amazed at the efficacy of their treatments - but they have done so by breeding 'human meat' in countless 'cells' beneath the facility, regularly infected with every disease, and ruthlessly incinerated at first sign of consciousness.
When Cassandra's attempt to blackmail the Sisters fails she and Chip liberate all the lab specimens as "Plan B", clumsily forgetting their touch is fatal. As she is 'renting out' Rose at the time, the Doctor has to rescue her from the released 'zombie hordes' while the hospital is quarantined from nearby New New York. Here's where the moral of the story comes to the fore, as these zombies are monstrous metaphors for the lab animals we humans currently breed and use for medical science. Though it's never directly stated I think RTD's message is that we should be as morally disgusted with that practice as the Doctor is here. My views differ. 
The solution involved a auto-disinfecting lift (MRSA plagued hospitals please note) and a swashbuckling Doctor brandishing a multi-coloured cocktail of drip bags, possibly a bit similar in it's immediate success to that seen in "The Doctor Dances" last season. Ah, what did become of nanogene technology by the year 5 billion?Then there was the promise of a season plot-arc opening with the presence of another Platform One alumni - the Face of Boe. The only patient the Sisters couldn't cure (Boe had a terminal case of age) also spoke for the first time, though technically it was telepathy.
Alas, the message he had to pass on was that he'd basically pass it on later "Textbook enigmatic" as the Doctor so rightly put it as FoB dematerialised.I can really only pick small holes in this one like the ropey effects on when the Sisters got poxed and the cheesy NNYPD bust so I nearly gave a 9 out of 10, but suspected that might just be euphoria at having the show back. It just so tickled my fancy last night. Only one viewing so far though.
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Screencaps by Bunnyp00
Doctor Who UKTV
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